Thursday, September 3, 2009

Important Recent Developments

Generally in vacations students miss the track of recent developments. So I am providing the developments taken place in the month of May and June. So they can reconnect themselves with the on going developments.
1. Entertainment Law: Kris Allen is crowned the new American Idol, despite being distracted during his final performance by judge Paula Abdul, who gnawed enthusiastically on her shoe while attempting to yank out her own eyeball.
2. International Relations: The U.S. obtains its first seat on the United Nations Human Rights Council after the Council’s voting members are kidnapped by the CIA and waterboarded.
3. Energy Law: The U.S. develops a framework to provide nuclear energy to the United Arab Emirates, which announces its plan to build the “Power Tower,” an ornate 2,000-foot-tall nuclear reactor in downtown Dubai.
4. Corporate Finance: General Motors terminates 1,100 dealerships after the American public collectively announces that, no, it does not intend to purchase a new GM car or truck during the nationwide Labor Day Blow-Out Extravaganza.
5. Defense Policy: The Department of Defense creates a computer-security military command, the National Electronic Recovery Directive Command, or NERDCOM.
6. Constitutional Law: President Obama nominates Federal Judge Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court as its first Hispanic woman; CNN anchor Lou Dobbs angrily denounces the move as taking a seat away from an “earnest, hard-working American” and, red-faced and trembling in fury, demands a fence be built around the Court.
7. Corporate Law: Time Warner and AOL terminate their merger. The remaining 12 AOL subscribers question how they’ll be affected by posting their concerns to empty AOL chatrooms.
8. Corporate Law: General Motors sells its Hummer brand to the Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Company, which will rename the car the “Super Big Motor Square For America.”
9. Corporate Law: General Motors files for bankruptcy and is removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Detroit Business Weekly further announces that its 2009 “Detroit 100” list of successful city-based companies will rank GM just below “Greasy Dave’s Grub Shack.”
10. Employment Law: The Slim Jim manufacturing plant in North Carolina is rocked by an explosion that kills three workers and injures more than 40 others. “Macho Man” Randy Savage apologizes and promises to use the door next time
11. International Relations: President Obama gives a speech in Egypt, where he was born.
12. Animal Law: Some 2,000 wild Canadian geese are to be killed around New York’s main airports; plans call for exterminating the flocks by directing passenger planes to fly into them.
13. National Security Law: Al-Qaeda founder Osama bin Laden criticizes President Obama on an audio cassette, further threatening that new plans for terrorist attacks have been drawn up and are being stored on a TI-81 graphing calculator.
14. International Finance: Brazil offers $10 billion in financing to the International Monetary Fund. In a similar move, the World Bank borrows $20 from Eritrea to pay for a bus ride home.
15. Corporate Law: Eddie Bauer files for bankruptcy. Rugged congressman Dave Reichert, wearing a sporting canvas angler shirt and durable, rustic five-pocket field corduroy pants, weeps as he advocates government bailout.
16. Corporate Law: General Motors agrees to sell Saab, leaving the Daewoo Lanos the company’s sole remaining model.
17. Entertainment Law: On a particularly hot California day, Michael Jackson, in a manner not unlike the demise of the villain in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, tragically melts to death.
18. Politics: New York state Senate Democrats lock themselves in the Senate chamber, where they order pizza and stage a gossipy sleepover, huddled in blankets and whispering mean rumors about Republicans.

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